Relationships: Teen Zine vol. 4, Chapter 5: parentals (honor them)—Fifth Commandment
Juliette Alvey
The fifth chapter of Relationships: Teen Zine vol. 4 begins with the admission, “Honor feels like a heavy lift most days.” That is no joke! We feel the weight of this word, especially when we, as parents, feel like we are being treated with dishonor more often. Sometimes I am horrified at the way my children talk to me, not only because of the attitude with which they speak, but also because I hear my own voice echoed in their words. I feel angry that they are disrespecting me, and I feel even angrier at myself for being an example of disrespect.
Fortunately or unfortunately, we have more in common with our children than we want to admit. As adults, we see this truth more clearly than they do because we have experienced their age already. It may have been a long, long time ago, but we know what they are going through. They don’t have that advantage—and so they have trouble relating to where we’re coming from. This is where their imaginations come in!
Teen Zine vol. 4 says, “Your parentals were young once… Stop and imagine your grown-up as a teen. Stepping into their shoes sparks empathy to see them as humans.” We can foster this kind of empathy by sharing photos of ourselves from when we were teens and sharing stories. We do not do this in order to say, “I know exactly how you’re feeling,” because we are still different people living in different generational contexts. But when parents and teens have empathy for one another it affirms that we are on the same team, and we are contributing different roles and perspectives. We are all unique as God’s children.
The other day, my seven-year-old said to me, “Mom, you’re my sister in Christ, not my mom in Christ.” I laughed, but I had to admit, there was wisdom in those words. Maybe that was her way of honoring me as a fellow child of God.
Honor can feel lighter when we look at others the way God sees each of us: as uniquely beloved. No matter what stage of life we are in, Christ took our burdens to the cross so that we can freely honor one another in our differences.
