Future Self: Teen Zine vol. 5, Part 2, Chapter 2: past—not so far back
Juliette Alvey
Peppered throughout each chapter in the teen zines you will find tons of creative and thought-provoking art images. In the second chapter of part two in the Future Self zine, there is an image on page 52 that grabbed my attention and made me think deeper. It is an image of endless rows of filing cabinets that go out in a linear perspective. At first I thought, “Hmmm, filing cabinets don’t seem very artsy or interesting,” but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how well the image fits the subject of this chapter.
The chapter tells the story of Hagar, the servant of Abraham and Sarah, who finds herself stuck in an impossible situation… so impossible that she runs away into the desert. She is alone, carrying Abraham’s child in her womb and Sarah’s harsh treatment in her heart and mind, and she feels the burden of a future that seems to have zero good options.
Even though this is an old, old story from the book of Genesis, we understand what it feels like to be stuck from lesser to greater degrees.
It is in the middle of retelling this ancient story of Hagar that we find this image of… endless filing cabinets.
So… let’s talk about filing cabinets for a second. Personally, mine are full of documents that I feel obligated to keep: things that remind me I have little control over life—medical bills, insurance claims, contracts, etc. They are all binding. Sometimes life can be one binding thing after another, making us powerless to escape our circumstances. And it’s not just the information on the papers that brings out anxiety, it’s the actual task of organizing them in file folders and deciding which ones to keep and which ones to shred. Sorry if you really like the task of filing and are deeply offended by this, but for me, filing paperwork evokes one word: dread.
When the future fills us with dread we want to run away like Hagar, even if the route of escape is worse than moving forward. This is the hopeless state where God finds Hagar. The zine explains, “Hagar was stuck between a desert and a harsh place—and God made a way for her” (p. 57).
You see, God specializes in impossible situations. He sent his only son into the most impossible situation, but Jesus did not run away. He faced the darkest place to make a way through for the rest of us. In describing Hagar and Jesus’s stories, the zine says, “They both went into dark and scary places… not for themselves, but in Hagar’s case for her son and in Jesus’s for all of humanity” (p. 58).
Hebrews 12 says that “for the joy set before [Jesus] he endured the cross,” and that we should “consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that [we] will not grow weary and lose heart” (Heb 12:2-3). Even when facing the darkest place, there is joy before us. We may not be able to see it, but it is there.
Looking back at the artwork again, I notice the other elements that surround the filing cabinets. There is an ethereal light shining at the end of the rows and a night sky filled with fluffy white clouds and beautiful shining stars. When we feel stuck it is easy to fall into the belief that things will always be how they are right now. But the night sky and fluffy clouds in this picture remind us that life is bigger than what we see right in front of our faces. It is a big world, yet somehow in this amazing expanse, the Creator of it all sees you. God is not an impersonal force in the universe—he knows you and knows where you feel stuck. The one who sees you is right there beside you, taking your hand and guiding you toward the light at the end of the filing cabinet tunnel. He will lift your gaze beyond what’s in front of you to the joy he has planned for you.
